If it Only Works on Your Best Days, It's Not a Plan Yet
- nourishlongevity
- May 18
- 5 min read
Updated: May 22
Hi I'm Carmen and as a Health Coach I've learned that when people struggle with consistency, they usually think the problem is motivation.¹
But honestly? A lot of the time it’s fear.²
Not always obvious fear. Not panic. Not some giant voice screaming “danger.”
Sometimes fear sounds more like:
“What if I fail again?”
“What if I can’t keep this up?”
“What if this changes too much?”
“What if healthy habits make life boring?”
“What if I lose the comfort I’m used to?”² ³
As a coach that specializes in creating positive behaviour change, I see this all the time.
People start leaning into excuses and immediately think something is wrong with them. But behaviourally, excuses are often information.⁴ They tell us something about what feels difficult, uncertain, uncomfortable, or unsustainable.
(I want to be clear: excuses are something we all lean into at some point. They’re a very human response to fear, uncertainty, confusion, and overwhelm. It’s not something to feel ashamed of. More often than not, they’re information and an opportunity to learn, adjust, and grow from what’s really getting in the way.)⁴
And that matters because if we do not understand what is underneath the resistance, we usually respond the wrong way. We push harder. We try to become more motivated. We attempt an “all or nothing” reset.⁵
That usually works, for a few days. Then real life shows up.
Energy drops. Stress happens. Schedules get messy. Motivation fades. And suddenly the plan that felt “perfect” no longer fits.¹ ⁵
This is why I say all the time:
If it only works on your best days, it’s not a plan yet.
The real goal is not building a routine that only works when life is calm and you feel highly motivated. The goal is building something that still works on your average days. Your busy days. Your lower-energy days. Your stressful weeks. Because those days are your real life. And this is exactly why we focus so much in this program on small amounts done repeatedly.⁷
Most people think change needs to feel dramatic to count. But long-lasting change is usually built through small challenges that slowly increase over time.⁷ ⁸
Think about it like stepping into a shower. If the water is warm and you suddenly turn it ice cold, your body reacts immediately. It feels shocking. Your instinct is to jump out. But if you slowly lower the temperature bit by bit, your body begins adjusting. You still feel the discomfort, but it becomes manageable. Over time, what once felt uncomfortable starts feeling normal.
That is exactly how habit change works.
You are not trying to shock your nervous system into becoming a completely different person overnight. You are slowly building tolerance for challenge. THIS IS RESILIENCE. The key to sustainable change.⁹
Maybe that challenge is:
adding a few more minutes of movement
exercising one extra day
trying a new activity
walking when you normally would not
restarting after a difficult week
choosing consistency over perfection⁷
Those things matter more than people realize. There is actually research behind this idea. Psychologists often refer to something called The Goldilocks Principle. The idea is that humans stay engaged when challenges feel “just right.” Not too easy that we get bored. Not too difficult that we feel overwhelmed and shut down.¹⁰ James Clear on the Goldilocks Rule
This is also connected to self-efficacy, which is essentially the confidence we build through following through on things repeatedly.¹¹ Confidence does not come from thinking about change. It comes from experiencing yourself doing hard things in manageable doses.¹¹
That is why mastery matters more than motivation.
Motivation comes and goes. Mastery is built.¹¹
Here’s the interesting part people do not talk about enough: sometimes we are not actually afraid of exercise or healthy habits themselves. Sometimes we are afraid of what we think they will take away.² ³
We worry we will lose comfort. Lose flexibility. Lose fun. Lose connection with people around us.
But healthy habits do not have to isolate you from your life. They are supposed to support your life.
You can still have fun. You can still be social. You can still enjoy yourself.
In fact, when people start feeling stronger, more capable, more energetic, and more confident, they often start influencing the people around them too. That is what sustainable change actually looks like.¹²
Not punishment. Not perfection. Not forcing yourself to live in constant discipline.
It looks more like resilience.
And resilience is different than stress management.
Stress management helps you cope in the moment. Resilience helps you adapt over time. It is built when you repeatedly experience challenge, work through it, and realize you can handle more than you thought.⁹
That process changes you.
So the next time excuses start showing up, instead of immediately criticizing yourself, try getting curious.
Ask:
What feels difficult right now?
What am I afraid of losing?
Is this challenge too big too fast?
What would make this feel more manageable?⁴ ⁶
Those questions are where real behaviour change starts.
Not on your best day.
But in learning how to keep going through real life.
If this resonates with you and curious about common barriers, click the button below.
Research & Resources
Hall, K. et al. The Secret Life of All-or-Nothing Thinking with Exercise: New Insights into an Overlooked Barrier. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12831378/
Pyszczynski, T., Greenberg, J., & Solomon, S. Why Do We Need What We Need? A Terror Management Perspective on the Roots of Human Social Motivation. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-02896-006
Brewer, J. et al. Mindfulness Training for Changing Habits. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6110173/
Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. Psychological Flexibility as a Fundamental Aspect of Health. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2998793/
Segar, M. Research on sustainable exercise adherence and behavioural barriers. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1469029217307963
Prochaska, J. O., & Velicer, W. F. The Transtheoretical Model of Health Behavior Change. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10170434/
Lally, P. et al. How Are Habits Formed: Modelling Habit Formation in the Real World. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ejsp.674
Duhigg, C. Habit loop and behaviour pattern research. https://charlesduhigg.com/the-power-of-habit/
Southwick, S. M., & Charney, D. S. Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges. https://medicine.yale.edu/psychiatry/research/programs/clinical_people/stress/
Clear, J. The Goldilocks Rule: How to Stay Motivated in Life and Business. https://jamesclear.com/goldilocks-rule
Bandura, A. Self-Efficacy Interventions. In: Handbook of Behavior Change. https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/handbook-of-behavior-change/selfefficacy-interventions/D4EC41A2F16CB6171058C5B00AE575AB
Christakis, N. A., & Fowler, J. H. The Spread of Obesity in a Large Social Network over 32 Years. https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMsa066082
This article includes evidence-informed resources related to exercise, behavior change, and long-term health habits.
This content is educational in nature and is not medical, psychological, or psychiatric advice. If you are struggling with significant mental health concerns, disordered behaviors, or emotional distress, please seek support from a qualified healthcare professional.
In partnership with My Heart Fitness, a physician-led digital health platform focused on sustainable exercise and health outcomes.
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